Moments with Mary
by typicalRAinbow
Summary: Drabbles, One-shot, Minis, Crossovers and all sorts of odditys being pulled out of this carpet bag. Some Serious, Some Funny, Some Short, Some fluff and a pinch of madness here and there.
1. Is that you name? it's lovely

**Just a seris of, well, I don't know really what to call them really. Montage mini's has good ring to it. Like the summary says**

Some Serious, Some Funny, some Short, Some fluff.

but all in all pretty its random stuff.

Enjoy

"Go on, try it! Bet you can't" Bert encouraged. The two children looked somewhat sceptical but still Michael took a deep breath, determined to prove Bert's theory wrong.

"Mary..." Michael started. Bert and Jane both grinned to one another as Michael struggled to fight the urge not to say another word. They chortled as his face creased up in concentration

"P... Pop-" their sides aching from pent up giggles as he clamped his hand over his mouth to stop himself.

It still didn't help.

"-Poppins! Mary Poppins! Mary-MARY POPPINS!" He yelled as the words just spilt on ever attempt to restore his holding of the now proven theory. Jane laughed, she couldn't stop, her brother's face was just so amusing as Michael stormed off across the park to where their nanny was sat, while Bert grinning and whooping called after him,

"See?! I told ya! It's _Impossible _not to say her full name!"

**_A/N: Hopefuly they won't all be as short as this. Moments with Mary and she's not even in the first adventure XD oooh i feel so werild just typing her first name_**


	2. Chalk picturenic

**I own nothing but beware of the OCness**

Bert chuckled as pastel butterfly landed on Mary Poppins' temple. The nanny brushed it away, only for it to leave a light dusting of purple chalk over her face and gloves. Not that it mattered to Bert. The pair where in lying in the long grass and so to him, the green stains now covering the both of them only went well with another splash of colour.

(A/n) I should probably point out now that the reason they were covered in grass stains should not be left to the reader's imagination, just in case it should ruin anyone's practically perfect reputation.) In fact our favourite duo had been having a picnic in of one of Bert's chalk-paintings but with it being such a dry day, the picture was incredibly dusty for this time of year, one would only need to brush against a highly detailed object or skip down a beautifully shaded road to be covered in the artist's favourite material.

Only when the conversation had died down and the last cream cake had been polished off, did the pair of the pair them relax. Bert had yawned and stretched out on the grass, hand's behind his head while Mary Poppins laid herself down elegantly beside him.

Bert had to laugh as the butterfly continued to flap around the nanny, as though determined to wake Mary Poppins from her well deserve red snooze. The purple insect landed again on nannies face this time the young woman's cheek. The nannies eyelids fluttered, her lashes brushing against the creature's spread wings.

"Do y'know what time it is?" Bert yawned, pretending no to notice the bright smear of violet across her cheeks that the butterfly had left again. The nanny (now wide-awake) sat up, and reached for her lapel-watch then frowned, remembering her dress would no longer have lapels nor retained the watch from her usual skirted-suit.

"no, I don't..." she grumbled, taking her compact from hand bag that Bert was certain she hadn't had a moment ago, and began to fix her useably perfect appearance. For a while the only sounds were crickets and twittering of birds, before Bert broke the silence between them.

"Do y'know what've we done today?" he asked quite on the off hand. Mary Poppins looked at him thoughtfully over her shoulder before gazing up at cerulean sky.

"Nothing much, I should think Bert... "She turned back to the jack of all trades, who continued to gaze at her.

"Except the picnic of course and the walk in the park. Why?"

"No reason, Mary Poppins. No reason at all." came the answer accompanied a strange sleepy smile.

"Hmm Without reason, there is only madness" she quipped, repositioning her self and her skirts.

"Do you know what, Bert?" the young woman sighed as she turned back to the cloudless sky above.

"What?" he enquired as he burrowed back in to the long grass.

"I love it when my days off coincide with yours."

"Me too, love," The last thing Bert saw before he tipped his boater over his eyes was Mary Poppins, sunning her self and leaning back against the basket. She looked positively radiant, so beautiful with her head turned up towards the sky. Eyes closed, the nanny didn't see the lavender butterfly as it prepared to land on the tip of her pretty nose. "Me too …"

**Heh, the first one was too short, now this ones too long XD Aw well, some day I'll learn not to babble. I need to come up with snappyer titles...ARGH only one week till school starts and I still havn't finished my essays Oo**


	3. Suga snaps

Had Mary Poppins not been practically perfect, she probably would have groaned and banged her head against the door frame. However she was, so she didn't. And besides, judging by the small dent in the wood, Ellen had already beaten her to it.

_Every time, I take one afternoon off, _the nanny thought as she surveyed the wreckage of the nursery, _we end up back at square one._

"Where are the children now?" she asked not turning to the maid behind her. Before Ellen answered, there was a screech from downstairs, an almighty clatter of pots and pans from the kitchen, followed by enough cursing and swearing from Cook to make Admiral Boom blush. The maid cringed while Mary Poppins repressed a sigh and hitched up her skirts.

"I thought you were in charge of them for today," she mused, as she waded though the clutter to her quarters. Ellen rolled her eyes and turned her back to the green curtain that divvied the little room from the nursery.

"_Sorry Ms Poppycock, I did everything you said too,"_ the maid grumbled under her breath, straightening up a rocking horse.

"Pardon?" the young woman called back. Ellen scowled, remembering the nanny's sharp hearing.

"I said; I did every thing-" the maid started and turned round to confront the nanny. Then gaped. Mary Poppins had only stepped out of the nursery a moment before, wearing her coat, hat and full dress suit. How'd she gotten changed so quick in to her work dress and apron, not looking at all flustered, was a complete mystery the maid. "-You said too..."

"In that case, why are Jane and Michael scampering around like chimps at a tea party?" the nanny questioned, looking very much like a school mistress with her arms folded and eye brows raised.

"Well, I don't know do I?!" Ellen huffed recovering from the nannies re-entrance. She didn't like being bossed about, especially by the other two members of staff. It was bad enough getting a scolding off the old Cook, let alone being intimidated by the nanny.

"After you went, I made them tidy the nursery, took them to the park and did the errands fa' Mrs Banks just like you said! I even gave them their sweets with their med'cine like you usually do." If it were possible for the nannies fine eyebrows go any higher, they managed.

"Sweets?" Mary Poppins mouth nearly dropped in shock and she found her self struggling to control her voice, "You gave them sweets? With medicine? "

"No." Ellen said shaking her head at the idea. "Afterwards. Not half hour ago." at this the nanny closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"May I ask why?" she asked curtly.

"Well you always do!" Ellen squawked, as more yelling came form down stair. It sounded as if the children where playing cricket with Cook's vegetables, but the nanny seemed too occupied in finding some method to Ellen's apparent madness.

"Me, stuffing the children with sweets? The nerve! What on earth gave you that impression?"

The maid now looked quite frightened. She'd heard the nanny use that tone before on her wards, and then half an hour later the children had ran out the nursery, screaming that their toys had tried to kidnap them.

"Well, I mean, that gentleman friend told the master he should have a healthy helping everyday…"

"A helping of what exactly-"

"An' your always singin' _helps the medicine go down! In a most delightful_ way you even said!"

The realisation that the maid should never, ever be left in charge of the Bank's household again, now dawned on Mary Poppins, just as it had done on the Cook(who was currently being tied to a kitchen chair by two hyperactive children) years ago.

"Ellen," the nanny replied, trying not to scream, "That is not what I mean when I said a _Spoonful of Sugar…"_

**Ugh so much for completing Christmas homework. Oh well another not-so-Mini for you^^ Thank you to ****ForeverJulie**** and Amie C. Hicks for reviewing the last two. Also for a future chapter, any suggestions to any food stuff Mary Poppins may be allergic to/loath with a passion? I was going to make it Raspberries but if she hates anything in the books/musical I'd like to link them in maybe…COOK AND ELLEN NEED MORE LOVE PEOPLE! Thank you**


	4. Reserved for Suga snaps2

**ForeverJulie made a really good point on my last chapter and let's face it Mary Poppins would never forgive me if I left Jane and Michael tying up the louse ends…of the sheep-shank knot on Cooks ropes. So while I try and come up with a reasonable escape plan here's a little filler to reserve the space for Suga snap part 2 ^^ **

"Alrigh' Mr Albert?" Bert yelled as he popped his head round the door. He could hear loud bawling from some where. "Obviously not then…"

Andrew slipped though gap between his legs and bounded into the hall, barking as he went.

"Bert, That you?" came a call from the drawing room, followed by the something that sounded like muffled foghorn. "Though here, my boy!"

Andrew trotted along side Bert as he entered the room indicated. From force of habit, Bert looked up to the high ceiling before remembering he'd heard sobbing. Without a doubt, the eccentric uncle of Mary Poppins was indeed miserable. More miserable then Bert could ever recall seeing him.

Andrew whimpered and looked from Albert to Bert and back again, his ears twitching. Bert chuckled and addressed the terrier.

"No worries, Andrew. He'll be alright; we just gotta cheer him up. Besides," he grinned, lowering his voice, "he's probably upset 'cause he ain't appeared in the story yet-"

The foghorn noise rang out again, much louder this time, making jack-of-all trades jump like a jack-in-the-box. It turned out to be Uncle Albert blowing his nose. If dogs could roll there eyes at human silliness, Andrew would have. Instead, he merely chewed at his tartan coat.

"Oh no, no, it wasn't that," elderly gentleman sniffed calmly, before wailing, "it was that terrible pun at the end of the last chapter! _A __Spoonful of Sugar!_Boo-hoo-hoo!" Bert realised what he meant and joined in with the weeping.

Andrew meanwhile began to howl, appalled that a grown man had actually said 'Boo-hoo-hoo'…


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N Sorry it's so dodgy, but they are going to get a bit more bonkers from now on. I got the stage show CD and now I have "Brimstone and treacle: Part 2" going round my head…*sigh* I'm sooooo going to fail on my drama course work...again XD Its warped my mind completely, I used to think Jane and Michael were so sweet and innocent…now I can't listen or read anything about them without thinking 'brats' D: so sorry if they start sounding a bit OoC now**

"Can we go and play with the Darling children, Mary Poppins?" Michael asked, suddenly perking up as he spotted his school friends entering the park. The nanny nodded,

"Very well but don't wander off to far. Or for too long now."

"Come on, Jane!" the youngster grinned, and dragged his reluctant sister off by the wrist.

"Stay where I can see you." Their nanny called after them, knowing full well they'd do the complete opposite. Satisfied that they wouldn't stray from the park or at least the statues view, Mary Poppins settled back on the bench in front of the old familiar band-stand. Peace at last…

For a rare moment, she let herself relax. Just a little. Just enough to her guard down. Just enough for the young lady not to notice the figures steal their way across the grass behind her, at least, not until a mass of several shadows fell upon her. Had Mary Poppins been ordinary rather then extraordinary, she would have maybe gasped or turned to confront who ever (or whatever) it was she had her back too. But if Mary Poppins was scared or even surprised, she didn't show it.

Not even when a harsh voice rang out,

"My, my, girls, Look what we have here! Why if it isn't little Mary Pop-in-and-interfere!" This was followed by a bunch of shrill giggling.

Not again, the nanny thought darkly, the snide laughter scratching at her ears and patience. Still, no matter how dreadful a situation, it's never an excuse to forget ones manners. Mary Poppins suddenly rose and spun to face her opponents. She was pleased to note that the sniggering stopped instantly, as the 'girls' leapt back and pulled out their brolleys, while the ringleader drew here self up to her full height.

"I would say how nice it is to see you all again," the nanny remarked coolly, her face revealing nothing as she observing the motley crew, before unfurling her own umbrella with a flick of the wrist and flashing a quick and dangerous smile at the agitator "But You wouldn't want to make a liar out of me now, would you, Miss Andrew?"

**To be continued…**

**…Right now**

Jane and Michael were bickering again as they made their way back to the band-stand, having been ushered away from the zoo, first by the park-keeper then by a bunch of stone carvings that guarded the entrance. However this wasn't the reason the pair were arguing. (Told you!)

"Mary Poppins in danger?" Michael squawked, "I don't believe it!"

"Well that's what the llama told me!" his sister retorted, as she hurried though the park. "He said that Mary Poppins might be in trouble."

"Might be? You said defiantly a moment ago!" Michael huffed as he lagged behind his sister. He was still miffed that Jane had insisted they return to the bandstand purely because of what the over-grown donkey had said. Jane scowled and turned back to her brother, who was now balancing on the kerb.

"Don't you believe me? Or don't you care about her?" she asked indignantly.

"Of I cause do…"Michael replied sincerely, making Jane smile. "She's the best nanny we've ever had." Jane kicked him on too the grass and stormed off. "Hey! I was answering your question!" He yelled as he scrambled up after his sister.

Jane stopped to catch her breath trying to work out whether it'd be better to take the long path back to band stand or use the muddy short-cut though the trees. If the nanny was in trouble, she would possibly appreciate the children's speed but more likely to reprimand them for the state of their clothes.

"Not my fault you don't get on with Wendy." Michael panted as he caught up to her. "You know, you could have let me stay and play with the boys, then you wouldn't have had to make silly excuses either. What could go wrong in the park? It would have been more believable if you'd said at home or in-!" Jane gave him such a fierce glare that forced him to stop talking that instant. This made him certain of two things. First was that his sister must have been picking up tips from Mary Poppins. The second was that if Mary Poppins or someone with similar powers had truly been his sibling, the look would have most certainly turned him into a wicker basket, let alone kill.

"I'm NOT making excuses this time," The young girl argued, cheeks turning red with anger (This made Michael realise a third point and that was that pale-pink was a very scary colour, especially when being worn by a very scary sister) "Mary Poppins may be in trouble so big that even she might not be able to fix it and your complaining about playing pirates and Indians!"

"I was only saying-!" Michael started in protest, when he was cut off, not by his sister, but by something that suddenly torpedoed its way between the children. The pair were knocked back by an unseen energy as what ever it was embedded its self in the ground with such force, one would have thought it'd be fired from a cannon.

Michael sat up and opened his eyes. Immediately he wished he'd kept them shut. A beady little eye peered back at him, a parrot headed umbrella now eyeing him from its new angled roost, its beak just inches off the grass. The children gaped at it for a moment, stunned at what had just happened before a loud scream that rang out from behind the trees brought them back to their senses. Jane yanked the umbrella out of the earth and set off at a run though the shortcut dragging Michael up from the dust.

Mud splattered round their shoes and socks as the wind suddenly picked up making the trees seem as though they were dancing with agony as the children blundered on though the foliage, brambles and twigs snagging on their clothes. Loud screams and curses battled to make themselves heard over the Gail and what seemed like fireworks and rockets lit up the sky that peeked though between the branches. Just as they burst though the final line of trees however, the wind forced them back. The children yelled, grabbing at their hats and trying to keep their footing, the air whistling so loud it stung their ears and faces. Then every thing went black and silent.

For a moment it seemed like the world had stopped as air was suddenly still, before the sun came out and the children could see the green grass park again, smell the sweet roses, and hear the bird song and even the park keeper yelling at people by the lake to obey the bye-laws. Nothing looked out of the ordinary. Dazzled and confused, Jane blinked in the sudden sunlight while Michael shielded his eyes from the brightness. They were now stood not by the trees but on the very bench where they'd left Mary Poppins some time ago.

"Jane, Michael, benches are for sitting on, not standing like penguins on pack-ice." quipped the said-nanny stood before them. What she said next was inaudible (though if any one were listing carefully, which they weren't, it would have sounded like "Now coOMUF!") as, with a yell of excitement and relief, both children practically leapt off the bench it to her arms.

It occurred to Jane that by all rights and laws of gravity Mary Poppins should have fallen on the floor or at least buckled under the sudden combined weight of her and Michael round her neck. After all, her father had struggled to give Michael a piggy-back a few years ago but the nanny merely prized their hands apart and set them down one after another on the ground again with no visibly effort.

"Michael, you and your sister are not members of the Manchester rugby team, kindly do not grab at me like I were a pig skin." she sighed, before her expression hardened. "What on earth happened to your clothes?" she reprimand, taking out her handkerchief and scrubbed at the young boy's dirty face. "I let you have a little freedom with your friends- Jane, don't roll you eyes at me like that, thank you- and the pair of you return looking like you've been playing Pirates and hippos."

"But Mary Poppins, we weren't playing!" Jane huffed as Michael struggled, her mood now darkened again at the prospect of her face being scrubbed at and made the parrot umbrella she was still holding bob in agreement.

"Oh really?"

"Yes really!" The young girl argued pointing towards the trees with her free hand, "We heard a scream and we came running though the wild corner to save you from…" Jane suddenly stopped short and let out a little yelp. The nanny straightened up and followed the girls gaze, giving Michael a clear view to just what he assumed Mary Poppins had faced.

There were about eight of them altogether. All stood upright in a line against the bandstand, all dress-suits and hair in tight buns, lurching and writhing, as though glued to the metal and wood. All looked the similarly but somehow strikingly different, a range of sizes, hair colours and skin tones (one was even bright yellow he noticed). Seven fair pretty young women either side that the children had never seen before. One ugly old hag in the middle that the children wished they would never see again.

"Jane, Michael. It's rude to stare." Mary Poppins said, adjusting her hat and taking her umbrella from Jane, as though the children clamping eyes on "the holy terror" (despite her being manipulated like a puppet locked into a giant bird cage before disappearing from a pantry with nothing more then a scream and a slam of the door) was the most normal thing in the world. The pair of them however where frozen with terror, huddled together behind their nanny, trying to hide from Miss Andrew's Icy glare.

"She's the one staring at us." Michael whimpered "and she's mouthing something."

"Who are they others?" Jane asked looking up at the nanny "and why are they all stood like that?"

"Because they misbehaved…" a voice from behind them spoke, making the two children jump. Sat on the bench they'd leapt off moments ago, was a fat ugly, old woman dressed in black, her black feathered bonnet covering her most of her grey hair. What was more surprising however was the small table that had also appeared from now where, tea for four set out on it and complete with table cloth. "They have to accept the concisequences I'm afraid." The woman finished, pouring out two teas and two glasses of milk.

"You were lucky not to have joined them, Ma'am." Mary Poppins retorted, but Michael was surprised to see her sit down and take the tea that the elder seem to have offered. The woman shrugged.

"Just because I am ranked amongst them, my dear, doesn't mean I am one." came her reply, her bucked tooth clicking against the china as she raised her own cup. "They did ask to be allowed to do anything they pleased, without getting into trouble," her somewhat nasal voice level and slow, almost hypnotic. "The fact they would not get in trouble with me, is an entirely, different matter..."

"One of what?" Michael asked but Jane suddenly gave a squeal of delight, putting an end to the conversation.

"Do look Michael, look! Their all tied up! See there, that's why the old bag isn't chasing us!"

"Jane, that's not the sort of language a young lady should use. I don't want to hear it from you again, understood?" the nanny scolded.

"But-"

"Goats butt, bees fly and children who insist on playing all morning should have something to keep them going," The nanny interrupted, handing each of them their milk. "I will not have my schedule interrupted nor do I plan on carrying two exhausted sleepy heads home."

"She is a rotten old bag though," Jane muttered to her brother before joining the women on the bench. Michael merely shook his head, and followed suit, still trying to grasp what was going on.

He could see now as Jane had pointed them out, thin silver ropes snaked around the hostages, especially round Miss Andrew. But that wasn't the only thing he noticed as the holy terror wasn't the only one mouthing unheard curses as she struggled to get free.

"Why aren't they saying anything." he pondered out load.

"Well we can't have them causing a great hullabaloo now could we?" came the rhetorical question as their nanny stirred a spoonful of sugar in to her tea and left it at that. The group was silent for a while, the nanny and the older woman drinking in the sunshine as well as their refreshments.

"Mary Poppins, you still haven't told us who they are," Michael pointed out, setting in down his empty glass of milk.

"Or explained why they randomly attacked you." Jane chipped in, following suit.

"I never explain anything." the younger woman replied "Besides, who said I was being attacked?"

"Hmm." the old woman gave her look which was impossible to for the children to interpret but stunned them into silence anyway. As though the two adults had a discussion without movement or noise, Mary Poppins sighed and set down her empty cup.

"Oh if I must, ma'am." Judging by the wink the children received from the elder (and the parrot umbrella, though no one paid attention to him), the nanny for a change, had relented.

"Well you two know Miss Andrew" their nanny sniffed, and gestured to each of the motley crew in turn. "May I introduce you to Susie Califragilistic, Shary Bobbins, Mrs. Mulberry, Joeanna Frost, Nanny Soffins and -ugh-…" she paused, as a grey, somewhat skeletal nanny lurched at the 'prisoner' next to her and bit down on the victims shoulder.

"And Scary Moppins," The nanny concluded, wrinkling her nose and turning away in disgust as the red-haired women who been bitten suddenly grew a tentacle from the wound, and slapped the offending captive (who'd been lapping what looked like pink blood off her lips,) while the children gaped at the sight.

"If its one thing I can't stand, it's a knock-off nanny. Especially ones with no manners." Mary Poppins stated matter of fact-ly.

"And I thought tea would make amends." her elder said sincerely but her young eyes shimmered as if it was a joke. "If I am not needed here, however…" she sighed and stood up , drawing up from the side of the bench a knobbly walking stick and a wicker carrying basket that the children were certain hadn't been there a moment ago.

"Would you care to clear the dishes away Mary, or shall I?" she asked leaning on the branch for support. Jane and Michael exchanged looks. They had guessed this old woman was fairly important from their nanny calling her ma'am, but for the woman to have called Mary Poppins only by her first name, she must have been close family, or royalty, or both.

"I will, Ma'am," The nanny replied, standing up. The table cloth whipped out from under the china by its own accord like an invisible magician was showing of in fount of the children's eyes. For its next trick, it flipped over, covered the tea set, teapot and all and sank to the ground, no evidence of a table even being there at all.

"Show off…" the elder smiled as the nanny scooped up the large cloth and handed it to women, who tucked the napkin sized piece of material into the basket. "But thank you kindly, dear. Is there any thing else I can do for you?"

"You've done plent-" Mary Poppins started, and then reconsidered, looking from the children to the band stand then back to the patient elder. "Actually, a change of plan. If it's possible, Ma'am could you remove these vermin from my sight please? I'd hate to think what they'd do if they were let lose in the park again." The older woman nodded and for a horrible moment, the siblings thought that Mary Poppins meant them and clung to the nanny for dear life.

"Please, Mary Poppins, don't remove us!" Michael pleaded.

"We're not vermin, honest!" Jane protested.

"Remove you? Why on earth would I do that?" the nanny laughed and for the second time day that prised the children off her, only for them to grasp her hands instead. However the old woman shook her head. She raised the stick with a creek and brought it down with a dull thud what looked like stars bust from the tip. This new feat of magic stunned the pair in to silence, shocked they hadn't been flung in to an abyss or banished from existence, before Michael found his voice, "Then who-Oh…" only to lose it again.

The children and the nanny gazed at the bandstand in this time in wonder, it's once rusty and paint chipped surface returned to its former splendour, newly carved panels, varnished and sparkling in the sun. Miss Andrew was still tied up, bound with a lot more rope. The 'other knock offs' however had vanished.

"Miss Euphemia Andrews needs to be taught another lesson I'm afraid," the lady murmured, "but I shouldn't be the one to deal out her medicine…"

"Show off…" The nanny smiled a little still gazing at the bandstand, before turning the children to face the old woman with the young eyes. "But thank you kindly Ma'am. Now, say goodbye you two-"

"We not going anywhere are we?" Jane squeaked.

"Your not leaving us again are you, Mary Poppins?" Michael asked. Both the woman smiled, amusement playing in their eyes.

"She isn't," the woman in black smiled. "I am."

"Oh must you?" Jane asked. She'd enjoyed the tea and the sight of seeing the funny 'knockoffs' tied up.

"It's been a pleasure meeting you." Michael chimed. Knowing that Miss Andrew had been stopped yet again had lightened his mood considerably. The woman looked from one child to another and smiled, her straight teeth sparkling.

"I'm no longer needed, Jane. And the same to you, Michael." The slim woman turned to go, then stopped and gazed from the nanny to Miss Andrews and back again. "I believe the banking district is full of her ex-charges. I'm sure they would love a little fun-"

"Oh I think she can say put for a little while longer Ma'am." the nanny said sternly but somehow sweetly. With a swish of rope, Miss Andrew was now tied upside down, the silver ties wrapped around the hem of her skirts and boots. "At least till the park keeper finds her."

"Turn it on its head indeed…" Her blonde friend nodded a stray strand of yellow slipping out from under her bonnet and with, that turned and walked along the path towards the rose garden.

The trio watched her go, the little golden sparks leaping up from tip of the stick with each step. Large fluffy snowflakes began to fall behind them covering the band stand and turned Miss Andrew in to a snowwoman stalactite, still sighlently bawling, only now spiting out clods of snow. But no one but the parrot noticed. The children waved the friendly stranger off while Mary Poppins merely gave a liltle curt nod, before leading her charges off down the path home.

"Mary Poppins there's one thing I don't understand," Michael pondered aloud, lagging behind as little boys do, balancing on the kerb.

"Only one?" the nanny retorted. Michael bit back a reply and continued.

"Why were you fighting?"

"Why would you ask such a question?" the nanny shot back over her shoulder. "A respectical person like me in street brawl. The very thought-""But we heard a scream-"

"I've never screamed, balled or so much as hollered in my life, and I don't intend to start now thank you very much."

"Farther says it's not a fight if you're bound to win." Jane smarmied. The days events seemed to have made the nanny quite cross but Jane thought that maybe if she acted really nice, then maybe-

"Flattery, Jane Banks, will get you no where." -or maybe not. But Michael was still curious to know what had gone on.

"Will those women come back Mary Poppins? The knock offs, I mean."

"They wouldn't dare." she snapped, and he didn't doubt her for a second. The young boy felt relived to here this, then suddenly quite annoyed.

"So you mean," He griped, "that after all that fuss, you weren't in danger then?"

"Fuss? In danger? Me?" The nanny scoffed "Michael Banks, there are times I wonder whether your deliberately trying my patience. Now come along please. One more mention of fight, I'll summon a police man and you'll go straight to bed with out supper."

"I told you she could handle it." Jane sulked.

"But it was-" Michael looked incredibly from one to another. "We heard- Jane and the llama, and the fire works" He squawked, trying to string a sentence together. But one look off the nanny reminded him it wasn't worth it. He truly hated it when his sister changed whose side she was on. It meant he could rarely win against her. And he could never, ever win against Mary Poppins…

**Updated. YAY! Better late then never. I also have a feeling I've screwed up with spelling and I may have gotten words mixed up. Sort of based on the musical. (Lisa O'Hare = epic win) It's brilliant but has warped my mind completely! (Though reading all but the second book doesn't help either) so it's more like a mash up really but still**!**Okay that didn't turn out as bonkers I thought it would be. It sounded a lot better when I was doing this rather then my course work Oo It started out as just TWO paragraphs, but it just kept eating up my ideas D: Gah! Nearly seven pages. The old lady (guess who?) was only meant to smile then vanish, she stole Miss Andrews big moment (however, Miss Andrew dancing along to Supercalli-Ican'tspellit, myEnglish-is atrocious at the end of the musical was brilliant! The funniest thing I ever did see) I'm still struggling with SugerSnaps2 though, any ideas? Plus thinking of writing a proper big crossover, what do you think? But anyway, remember kids, no matter what the teachers say…MARY POPPINS PWN's YOU ALL! =D**


	6. ChimChimCherOWcH

"_Chim Chiminey Chim Chiminey Chim chim Cheroo_," she sang "_Good luck will rub off if he shakes- _"

"Oh really? I didn't even know we dating!" He laughed. This earned him an angry look.

"Don't be filthy, if you'd let me finish, its; _If he shakes hands with you!"_

"I know I know, _Or blow me-"_ He started but was cut off by the connection of her fist to his nose that sent him sprawling across the tiles.

_"Or blow me a kiss and that's lucky too,"_ She finished and smiled innocently at her at her companion as he scrambled back up onto his feet.

"Wabt teh fibbin' helk das thab bore?" he asked indigently. Or at least tried too. His conk was now steadily bleeding so his speech muffled by what he hoped was anything but broken bone, the blood mixing with his coloured neckerchief. She merely fluttered her eye lashes at him and tried to remain sugar-coatedly sweet while relining her cracking knuckles.

"Nothing, I just don't trust you with that line that's all..."

**AN/ Update: Don't worry, I'm not going to leave you the edge of your seat! Lol unlike "Sugersnaps", our favourite nanny's last adventure is COMPLETE and is being spell checked by one of the greatest nit pickers known to man as I type, so it'll be up loaded soooon! **

**However this comes at a price. The tiny little piece of prose before you was originally written by him…originally (no I haven't stolen it lol I've just made it child friendly). For those of you who've encountered the anonymous 'Terets shite' may know what I mean, however for those who don't, lets just say although his made me laugh, it was about five times longer and I would have had to put at least a MA rating on it…wait why did I read it then?! Oh well if he ever gets his own account rather sponging mine you may see the full version ( providing you can drive and/or vote) but for now your stuck with my lil childish ones…yes I said ones, do you really think I would have waffled on about it in bold text if I'd been bribed to rewrite just one? :o**

**:0)**

**Rainbow**


	7. Chalk Picturenic V2

**I made two endings for " Chalk pic-nic". there's not much difference really though I wasn't sure about either of them (the other one was just the one I finished first, but this one reads a bit better me thinks) but I posted the whole chapter btw …don't why…but arh well : ) Which did you prefer? **

**Read, Review and Happy Da-ja-vu!**

Bert chuckled as pastel butterfly landed on Mary Poppins' temple. The nanny brushed it away, only for it to leave a light dusting of purple chalk over her face and gloves. Not that it mattered to Bert. The pair where in lying in the long grass and so to him, the green stains now covering the both of them only went well with another splash of colour.

--~--

I should probably point out now that the reason they were covered in grass stains should not be left to the reader's imagination, just in case it should ruin anyone's practically perfect reputation.) In fact our favourite duo had been having a picnic in of one of Bert's chalk-paintings but with it being such a dry day, the picture was incredibly dusty for this time of year, one would only need to brush against a highly detailed object or skip down a beautifully shaded road to be covered in the artist's favourite material.

It was hard to tell whether they where there for minutes or hours, but it was only when the conversation had died down and the last cream cake had been polished off, did the pair of them let the summer warmth get to them. Bert had yawned and stretched out on the grass, hand's behind his head while Mary Poppins laid herself down elegantly beside him and snuggled down into the long grass...

--~--

Bert had to laugh as the butterfly continued to flap around the nanny, as though determined to wake Mary Poppins from her well deserved snooze. The purple insect landed again on nannies face, this time the young woman's cheek. The nannies eyelids fluttered, her lashes brushing against the creature's spread wings.

"Do y'know what time it is?" Bert yawned, pretending no to notice the bright smears of violet across her face that the butterfly had left again. The nanny (now wide-awake) sat up, and reached for her lapel-watch then frowned, remembering her dress would no longer have lapels nor retained the watch from her usual skirted-suit.

"no, I don't..." she grumbled, taking her compact from a hand bag that Bert was certain she hadn't had a moment ago, and began to fix her useably perfect appearance. For a while the only sounds were crickets and twittering of birds, before Bert broke the silence between them.

"Do y'know what've we done today?" he asked quite on the off hand. Mary Poppins looked at him thoughtfully over her shoulder before gazing up at cerulean sky.

"Nothing much, I should think Bert..." She said putting away the make up and turned back to the jack of all trades, who continued to gaze at her.

"Except the picnic of course and the walk in the park. Why?"

"No reason, Mary Poppins. No reason at all." came the answer accompanied a strange sleepy smile.

"Hmm. Without reason, there is only madness." she quipped, repositioning herself and her skirts to face him, and leaning back against the basket, the nanny began sunning her self. Bert watched her, feeling more awake. _Madness? I've gotta be mad, _he thought_. Oh go on! Just say it, you've been talking to her all day. _

"Do y'know what, Mary?" He exclaimed, suddenly sitting up, his abrupt movement and use of her only first name surprising the nanny twice in one sentence. _Three little words, easy pea-sy! _

"I love-" Bert croaked taking her hand, and tried trying to find his voice again despite his heart and head urging him on. "I l-love…" _You! Go on, go on, go-_

"-It when me days off coincide with yours Mary Poppins!" He blurted out, receiving a curious look from the nanny and mentally kicking himself as the words past his lips. _You plonker, you cowardly daft plonker_. his companion didn't respond instantly, which sent the handyman in to a moment of which he wasn't sure was panic or deflation.

_Gordon Bennet of all the daft things to say, now she'll probably think I'm some sort of nutter, she'll avoid me, never want to see-_

"Me too, Bert," came the laughing but sincere reply, calming his nerves greatly. the nanny smiled warmly and squeezed his hand before turning back to the sky, her fingers still resting in his. She looked positively radiant, like a doll, so beautiful with her head turned up towards the sky. Eyes closed, Mary Poppins didn't see the lavender butterfly as it prepared to land on the tip of her pretty nose. "Me too …"


	8. Pranking Poppins

**Fact: the British are such a boring lot April 1****st**** fun only lasts till lunch time. Pointless much? Anyway this one requires a lil' of your imagination in order to understand.**

Michael Banks sulked. And groaned. And whined. It wasn't fair. He'd had pulled every trick he could think of on the house-hold and the majority of them had worked well. But then again, the majority of the house-hold weren't practically perfect.

He'd taken the inside of his father's newspaper and replaced them with last weeks, so that when he'd read it, he'd become muddled about the date.  
He'd put pepper in his mother's flowers, so that when she'd smelt them, she'd sneezed.  
He'd told his sister the ice-cream man would be early on his rounds, so that when she'd ran down the lane with sixpence in her pocket, she'd stood outside for quarter of an hour.  
He'd placed an elasticised snake rattler amongst the feathers of the maid's duster so that when she'd picked it up, she'd been scared witless.  
He'd sprinkled chilli onto the cook's secret biscuit stash, so that when she'd eaten one, she'd burnt her throat.  
And He'd even tied the handyman's shoe laces together, so that if he ever moved, he would fall over…

However he hadn't counted on just how tricky the nanny was.

He'd smeared ink on the telescope, so when she looked though it, she was meant to have been black eyed.  
He'd slipped a newt into the bathroom sink, so when she went to wash, she was meant to have been horrified.  
He'd balanced a bucket of corn four mix over the nursery door, so when she entered she was meant to have been slimed.  
He'd strung a low wire from the door frame to the banister, so when she crossed the landing , she was meant to have been sent sprawling across the floor.  
He'd swapped the sugar for the salt, so when she stirred it in to her tea, she was meant to have been spat it out.  
And He'd even coated several of the doorknobs in the house with lard, so when she went to open one, she was meant to have been shut in or out with her hands covered in grease.

But there are no flies on Mary Poppins. Either that or she was extremely lucky. Unlike Michael Banks.

It wasn't his fault Mr Banks had borrowed the telescope (to watch a comet that he'd missed in the paper last week and, thinking it was to appear tonight,) decided to make sure it was in working order.  
It wasn't his fault Mrs Banks had gone to the bathroom (to clean her stuffy, streaming nose and, thinking it was her make up that irritated her) decided to wash her face.  
It wasn't his fault Jane had come back in to the house (to fetch another penny for crushed nuts and, thinking there would be one in her money box) decided to enter the nursery.  
It wasn't his fault Ellen had been upstairs cleaning (to find she had a fear of snakes and thinking her employers would be in the study) decided to headed down the hallway to complain she was working with reptiles.  
It wasn't his fault Mrs Brill had put the kettle on (to quench her thirst and, thinking her biscuits had tasted very off) decided to make her tea a little sweeter then she normally would.  
And It certainly wasn't his fault Roberson Ay had drowsily tried get out of the pantry (to search for a comfier place to sleep and, thinking the door was stuck) decided to take a run at.

…He had said it was a joke. Unfortunately no seemed to be in a laughing mood. The nanny could sorted the mess out with a click of the fingers, but as punishment, Michael was being made to clean up slime, the tea, the telescope, and the assortment of broken pots, pans and door frames.

He'd forgotten that she was very careful not to spoil her face and that she never muddled dates.  
He'd forgotten that she wasn't fazed by any creature great or small and that she never sneezed.  
He'd forgotten that she was bound to edittesy not to barge in to a room and that she never fell for fibs.  
He'd forgotten that she wasn't trip over by something one could merly step over and that she never cared noisy toys.  
He'd forgotten that she was sweet enough already and that she never needed extra lumps of suger or biscuits with her tea.  
He'd forgotten that she wasn't going to be beaten by tub of lard or any other ingredents and that she wasn't born yesterday.  
And It had passed him by that doors were more then oblideged open at their own acord for her any way.

He'd had pulled every trick he could think of. not once had she been effected and now he was being penalized. It wasn't fair. On top of this, he'd been made to take over Robison Ay and Ellen's chores for a while as neither when in a fit condition to work. Michael scowled and finished sweeping the hall.

He'd swept up dust,  
He'd swept up soot,  
He'd swept up pepper,  
He'd swept up tea leaves,  
He'd swept up pollen,  
He'd swept up salt,  
He'd swept up dried corn flour  
and He'd even swept up any thing else that had accumulated in the corners the maid had missed.

He was wondering just were it should be tipped when he spied the nanny's umbrella by the door. She said it was to keep an eye on him. But as it winked at him, he realised there was a place this rubbish could be tipped in to and one idea for a prank he hadn't yet thought of. Grinning wickedly he unfuleled the umbrella and checked the time. Eleven o'clock.

Just enough time to create one last April fool.


	9. Art Attack

**I'm sorry, am I falling in to a repetitive writing paten? Also, I stole Bert's education to fund my selfish amusement. I thought it was sweet. I'll give it back to him late. Maybe. If it's any consolation I may have enhanced his talents slightly…**

**:D Reviews are tasty, om-nomnomnom**

* * *

Bert scowled as he lay hidden in the long grass, amongst brambles and gorse of the wild corner, watching the park keeper from between the leaves as he marched up and down, asking any one had they spotted an 'arty trouble maker'.

"Can't see w'ot all the fuss is 'bout," Bert grumbled, "It's 'nly chalk an' paint after all." He then ducked down as Smith span around, eyeing the bushes suspiciously. The woman he'd been pestering followed his gaze.  
Somehow the nanny looked the jack-of-all-trades straight in the eye, despite the vegetation concealing him from the rest of the world. To Bert's astonishment, she winked at him then looked from the park-keeper to the shrubbery and back again.

"I can't see what all the fuss is about," Mary Poppins quipped, "It's only chalk and paint after all." she then strode off as Smith marched in the opposite direction towards the lake, muttering to himself. The man he'd been searching for watched him go.  
"Cheers, love." Bert grinned, turning his attention to the nanny's retreating back as she disappeared from view towards the rose garden. She'd probably heard him but it didn't matter. He'd never told her to her face of course, but that didn't matter either. She knew…Or at least, he hoped she knew. Rolling on to his back, Bert continued to grin, absent mildly picked a blade of grass and chewed it, his smile now aimed at the bright clear blue sky. Clear and empty…like a new canvas.

An idea suddenly struck Bert. All his works were either on the pavement or hanging on fences, so he needed something to work on. But what with?

His brushes and chalks probably wouldn't work. "But a bit o'magic…" he chuckled plucking the greenery from his mouth. Twiddling the bit of foliage between his fingers Bert concentrated hard, tongue between his teeth and held the grass-blade like quill between his thumb and fore finger, aiming up above.  
Suddenly against the blue sky, a white fluffy cloud suddenly appeared above him. Bert's grin broadened in delight, as he began stretching out the cloud experimentally. It was hard and slow work but he kept at it. Another materialised and another as he dabbed at his new canvas with his new material and drew out the first thing that came into his head. Large letters now spanned the patch of sky.

Unfortunately, Bert didn't get to finish his masterpiece, because as he started on an '_o_', he was rudely interrupted by two shrieks that sounded from opposite sides of the park. One of them howled like a battle cry, the other sounded like howled like a group of children laughing.

"Spoilsports…" he chucked. Just then, mild panic suddenly struck Bert. He sat up and looked around. He hadn't meant to spell it out quite so loud and he might be hidden from the park keeper, but the clouds gave away his position. But that didn't matter, she'd seen him and he hadn't reckoned on her reaction, let alone if she was in front of her charges. But it didn't matter either. At least she knew now. He spotted a feminine figure remerging from the eastern garden just as the park keeper came hurrying into view. Both quite looked red in the face but determined and heading towards him. The jack-of all-trades gulped then leapt up and addressed them both.

"Can't see w'ot all the fuss is 'bout!" Bert yelled "It's 'nly cloud an' sky after all!" He then legged it as Smith pelting up the path, hot his heels. The woman who'd followed looked after them. She looked up, then to the shrubbery and turned her attention up to the sky again. The huge white slogan, bold as brass but white and soft as snow, still hung there.

_i luVE U MArY P-  
_The nanny stayed still and quiet…then smiled. It wasn't finished but it didn't matter. it said all it needed too for her. She regained her composure and winked at his art, twisting the words and meaning, making it invisible to the rest of the world, before starting back to quell the laughter of her wards.

Had he been looking, Bert's astonishment would have grown immensely. A huge slogan, white on blue, hung there, now neater and refined and for his eyes only.  
_I Love you too, Bert_

**:)**


	10. Drearydays and Raspberrycakes

**(It's been suggested to me that I scrap doing Moments with Mary and just post them as separate one shots…What do you think?) **

**Anyway this drabble was created from something Amie C Hicks said so cheers me dears! I can't remember what or when it was. Something about dreary days and raspberry cakes, but I've slept since then… Oh and coollios to Cocoa987, the winner of biccie's and pointless points for correctly guessing that our mystery man in the tenth chapter was in fact the tenth Doctor from Doctor Who. (That was fun; I may do it again some time.)**

**Reviewing/pointing out mistakes is always welcome, as are flamers, who I use to save on central heating bills…Enjoy**

Had it been an ordinary someone, who'd stopped Mary Poppins from striding alone down the street one drizzly Friday afternoon for a chat, they would have perhaps thought that she was out shopping, maybe she was on her day her off or that in her black coat she'd left Cheery Tree Lane for good. They probably wouldn't have thought anything was the matter either, because as always, she appeared practically perfect to those she passed in the street.

Then again, the someone who stopped her wasn't exactly ordinary.

"Watch' cha Mary!" he called out.  
The nanny looked up from under her umbrella to see Bert, waving to her on the other side of street, his collar turned up against the rain. Mary Poppins acknowledged him with a nod and went to carry on her way, but Bert had already skipped across the road to her and now blocked her path.

"What's wrong?" he asked with a grin on his face, but with a serious tone in his voice.

"Nothings wrong with me Bert, what ever made you think that?" came her incredulous reply, if a little half hearted.

"Well 'cause usually ya stop an talk to your old pals." the handy man answered, "and you only keep quiet if ya annoyed 'bout something'… " Her eyes went wide at this suggestion but Bert saw they lacked her usual happy sparkle.

_New mission for ya Bertie-boy,_ He thought_. Cheer her up and get her back to usual happy sparkly self again…_

"Honestly Bert I don't know where you get your ideas sometimes." she scoffed as she held out the umbrella to shelter them both from the shower.

"You give them to me." the nanny gave him look. "Well, you do."

"You do talk nonsense Bert," she sighed "Now if you don't mind, I've a few errands I may a- need to run."

"Aright then, have it you way." he smiled, ignoring her uncharacteristic slip and offered her his arm. She softened and took it; and walked on down the street with him, slowing down her quick pace.

Bert tried to make her laugh a few times, but his corny jokes raised no reaction. He hadn't expected her to have a cackling fit or clutch her sides from laughing, but if she'd just raised an amused eyebrow, cracked half a smile at his attempts, it would be something. Any reaction, even if it was to tell him to behave would better then this disconnected sense that something was wrong…After a while Bert decided maybe a little small talk would fit the one-way silence. _But what to talk about, _Bert pondered.

"Bloody weather," he grinned, "you know it was lovely a lil' bit ago, then these clouds just appeared…" the nanny looked out at the rain and nodded, her relaxed grip on his arm slipping a little.

_Bother. The kids ain't with her. Shes got a free day by the look of it, so why's she's upset... _

"So what's the Bank'ses up too then?" he ventured hopefully. The weather was getting steadily worse, forcing him to raise his casual tone slightly to he heard.

"Hmm? Oh-" Bert noticed the corner of her mouth twitch. "Mrs Banks wanted Jane to help her deliver some pamphlets and Michael's be commandeered by the Admiral for the day."

"They'll be havin' a great time with this lovely weather then." Bert said sarcastically. The weather retaliated this insult with far off rumble of thunder. Bert scowled at the sky before turning back to his companion. "What's the ol' seaman want with the young scallywag?"

"Mr Banks arranged it. Apparently," Mary Poppins sniffed, "he thinks Michael needs a role model-"  
"But he's got you to look up to!" Bert laughed. He instantly realised he'd said the wrong thing. Why it was wrong he wasn't quite sure but she stiffened and disentangled her arm from his, not looking at him as the rain began to pelt it down.

"I'm sorry Bert, I really must get on with these errands" she excused and suddenly quickened her pace, the raindrops splashing her face smudging her eye makeup a little.

"Hang about!" he laughed nervously and jogged along side her, "You're gettin' soaked-"  
"So are you-" she cut back.

"Yeah but the market will have packed up-" he reasoned.  
"I never said any thing about the market-"

"Well then seeing as we're both off today, why don't I take you out for tea?" he asked, taking her arm again, only for the nanny to shake it off.  
"I'm not hungry thank you Bert." she replied, though it was nearly drowned out by the thunder that seemed to even loosen a couple of curls from her bun.  
"We could have ginger bread-"

"No thank you Bert" she murmured and quickly walked on. Rain was practically dragging the handy man to a halt as it lashed against the cobble stones, but the nanny carried on regardless, clinging onto her hat to stop it being plucked off her head by the wind. Bert stayed rooted the spot as she neared the end of the street.  
"Or even get some raspberry buns if you like…" He sighed looking after her.

The rain suddenly stopped.

Bert smiled to himself, water dripping of his cap. He knew he'd said the right thing. Why it was right he wasn't quite sure but she stopped and half turned back, not looking at him as the sun peeped out from the large storm cloud that covered London. The handy man could have sworn he saw her lick just a corner of her red lips, before started back to him, folding her umbrella. She looked beautiful, her hair and make up immaculate as always.

"Oh if I must, I must." she sighed as stopped in front of him, "Providing we find some where for you to dry off first, you're soaking wet."  
"So are-" he cut back offering his arm then noticed her coat and laughed "-were you."

She raised an amused eyebrow at him and took his damp sleeve in hers. Or at least it was damp till she touched it. Bert chuckled as they set of back up the street. "I thought you had errands to run…"

"Why Bert what ever gave you that idea?" came her incredulous reply, but now just that little bit extra sparkle in her eyes. "I never said anything of the sort…"

Bert grinned. Mary Poppins was back to her ordinary, if some what extraordinary, happy self …_Mission accomplished_


	11. It's a jolly snogaday with you Bert

**Short, sweet and useless I'm afraid. Sorry I sooooo need to borrow someone's super updating powers. But while I'm here, big thanks to Terets, Forever Julie, Broadway girl (lol you changed your name! Mass confusslement!), Amie C Hicks, Metropolis Kid, Jedi girl, and Cocoa for reading and reviewing these wee lil' moments :)**** I really appreciate it**

They'd been smiling, dancing, chatting and laughing all away along the chalked road that he'd drawn like they always did, when, quite suddenly, she gave him a peck on the cheek….

Before leaping back in shock at what she'd done.

It was certainly unexpected. Or at least, to her it certainly was. She'd always said spontaneity kept conversation keen, but now both stood in a shocked silence, the dances forgotten as the pastel trees fluttered in the imaginary breeze.

"What was that for?" he asked calmly. He watched her carefully, more so then he'd ever studied her for a portrait.

"Nothing, Bert." she stuttered, looking at her feet, then set off walking down the foot road, hoping her embarrassment could be disguised by her brisk pace. "I mean just for being you...of course."

She scowled herself for acting like stammering shipwreck. What happened to her etiquette and manners! He was bound to think her a fool now; even with out looking back she could tell he was grinning like a Cheshire cat.

What she didn't notice how ever was that he was also being oddly quiet. For a moment he just stood there, and traced the point where lips had touched him, his finger tips smudging the red little print of lipstick she'd left behind on his cheek. His grin spread wider as wonderful idea came to mind and he pelted down his chalked road after her. He skidded to a halt in right in front of his companion and stood almost toe to toe with her.

Before she had a chance to say anything though, with artistic precision he'd left her a quick yet firm kiss. Not exactly on her lips but not exactly her cheek either. He then stood back as any true gentlemen would from a picture perfect scene.

"What on earth was that for?" she stammered, her blush deepening, her heart fluttering as fast as her lashes. He paused for a second trying to work out her reaction, before offering his elbow with to go along with his loveable grin.

"For being you Mary Poppins." he replied, "just for being you…"


	12. Old skool, innit!

**OOOh goodness it's been a while. Haleybob is (well was I hope she'd still working on it although I'm hardly one to talk) writing an awesome tale in which Mary Poppins attends a boarding school…Go read it! I need to update more often Anyway you can blame CoooooCoooooooa for this chapter ;) she'll know why. Well I hope she will. Very pointless. Enjoy…**

It is fair to say the headmistress of the _Saint Agnes' Finishing and Boarding School: for Girls and Young Ladies_ was indeed a formidable woman.

She ran a tight ship and didn't stand for mollycoddling, simpering, whinging, whimpering, or thumb sucking. She was a firm believer that children should be seen and not heard, often coming down on any mischief she found in her school like a ton of bricks.

One would think she hated children, so why she became a teacher was quite often a topic of discussion for her students during their breaks. Or detentions, if they were feeling brave.

She also hated her schedule being interrupted and it was well known one must only knock on her office door if there was a dire emergency or better yet, if you had an appointment. Otherwise, it meant you were in trouble with another teacher and therefore bound to be in much, much more trouble the moment your timed finger rapped on the oak door.

The girl in question was panting as though she'd run a marathon before coming to the office (though with the office being on the top floor of the school she probably had ran the equivalent) , her glasses askew and her lank hair only just being held back in her bun.

"Headmistress, Madame Larane sent me." she babbled. "You've got to-"

"In this institute young ladies do not speak unless spoken too, is that clear?"

"Yes headmistress. Sorry headmistress."

The headmistress reached into a drawer in her desk and extracted a detention slip, the fearsome vile-yellow piece of paper that ruled as second in command of the school and began to fill it in.

"Now, Year group?"

The girl looked bewildered.

"Pardon?"

"Your form, child." the woman snapped. "What year group do you belong to?"

"Oh, seventh, Headmistress."

The head mistress blinked and looked the girl up and down critically. Now this was odd. Usually the only seventeen years olds that were sent to her had been caught sneaking in and out of school, wearing make-up, expressing radical opinions or worst of all, talking too boys!

These young wretches that the headmistress dealt with, were spoilt by new fangled thinking, lithe and glamorous things who didn't care for there social status, thinking daddies money would buy them all the parties and respect of the world, often with skirt hems as high as their school marks were low. Why one girl last month had even been showing her ankles!

But judging by the size of this girl, she wasn't one of them. No, this girl was dumpy, almost misshapen with ugly face, her skin pale, greasy and very unattractive looking. Certainly not the kind to be charming the local sweeps and stable boys.

Perhaps the girl had been disrupting a lesson, or perhaps, more likely judging from her size, sneaking tuck and treats.

"Who sent you?"

"Madame Larane, headmistress."

"And the reason being?"

"To fetch you, headmistress."

"Fetch me?" the woman repeated, taken aback, "What on earth for?"

"She said to tell you if you didn't see it your self, you wouldn't believe her."

"Well what is you've done?" the headmistress sniffed. She hated when people couldn't or wouldn't give straight answers, choosing to talk in riddles and never explaining anything.

"Oh it's not me headmistress." the girl gushed. "I'm not the one causing the trouble."

The headmistress raised an eyebrow. If she'd herd that once she'd heard it a thousand times over the years, but the girl continued.

"No, Madame Larane sent me to fetch you, Headmistress. There was an awful racket coming from her third year's French lesson. And then she ran into the study area in a complete state. I supposed it was because it was the nearest room to her class. Babbling her head off. She said, 'Help. Go. Fetch the headmistress. Quickly. She won't believe if you tell. Here. Just bring her here. Go.' Or at least what it sounded like, her accent is rather confusing," The girl stopped to take a breath, "but that's why I'm here headmistress."

The headmistress also took a deep breath and rose to her feet. "Very well then, lead the way."

They left the room in silence, the headmistress striding on while the chubby girl followed. The woman was deep in thought. Madam Larene the schools language tutor did have an air of dramatics about her but she was a sensible woman and never had she made herself look such a fool, let alone be bullied by a bunch of adolescents. Yes this group of girls had been troublesome from there first steps in her school, but for them to riot? Impossible. Mind you, they had just lost their form head-girl, the little madam been transferred to another school and no one had been elected to take her place yet, and there form mistress had been called away on family reasons… could that be the cause of it all? A lack of authority amongst the ranks?

The head mistress glanced at the young girl. The saying Don't shoot the messenger was looking very tempting to brake, as the girl looked very pleased with her self, as though dobbing a group of thirteen year olds was worthy of a medal. The headmistress would have rather give the child a thrashing or a detention slip then sent on her way again.

"What is your name, girl?"

"It's Andrews, headmistress." came the smug reply. "Euphemia Andrews."

The headmistress sniffed. What silly parents she must have, she thought, too give a child a name like that. It sounded like a disease. She was surprised the panicky school nurse hadn't come to her with a diagnosis. _"Headmistress, headmistress! I'm afraid we have an outbreak of Euphemia-Andrews Disorder in the school. All the girls are turning into chubby and rude little know-it-alls with bad skin!"_

They were now approaching the school's front door and much to the headmistress's fury, what must have been at least half the school in the sunshine either stood congregated on the steps or half hanging out of up stairs windows to see what was going on. Before the teacher could threaten them back indoors Madame Larane came running up to meet them, looking not just flustered but borderline insane.

"Headmistress! It iz awful! The third yearz are revolting-"

"That I already knew. Where are they now?" The headmistress sniffed.

"Up up oh so high?"

"The roof-?"

"No No in ze air!" The teacher wailed.

"Madame Larane pull your self together you're being nonsensical and hysterical."

"Its zat Pimkins girlie! Itz all her doing, she's reponsible ze lit'ale deamon!"

"Pimkins? We haven't any girls named Pimkins, not in the whole school."

"Head mistress, she means that nasty little Po-" Andrews started, and then stopped her mouth hanging open, a garbling strangled gasp issuing from her throat.

A forth year from upstairs yelled, "they're coming round again!" and there was a series of cheers shirks and awe from the audience as everyone looked to the western sky to what young Miss Andrews had seen some pointing others waving. The headmistress followed their gaze and bit back a scream.

The third year where doing laps of the school, close enough for the headmistress to see their faces not that they seemed to care as they went racing past all twenty of them where high as kites.

Literally.

They flew across and over their audiences heads on an assortment of objects brooms, brushes and hockey sticks, hoes spades, or holding on to kites and coats or atop of desks and chairs, the red-haired Claire twins had taken their bed out for a spin, one in each bunk. All cackling madly and looking very ungainly those sat down with legs either side of their make shift flying hobby horses, a few daring to attempt loop the loops and barrel rolls much to their audiences delight and fear.

But the headmistress paid them no heed. Her ayes where fixed on the only one sat straight up, riding side-saddle as one would ride a horse and not joining in with the shouting as if flying was extremely ordinary. It would be her wouldn't it, the headmistress thought; no wonder every thing was coming unstrung around here. Oh she was going to enjoy writing home to Mr Wigg to tell of what his niece had done this time. She would have recognised that far too pretty face and practically perfect farce anywhere but first she had to get the school back in order and make an example of the class and their ring leader-

"MARY POPPINS!"


End file.
